I’m going to be starting a new series here at mere musings. I want us to take a look at various women of the Bible in order to see what their struggles were so that we can learn from them and find some bits and pieces we can take away to apply to our lives as modern Christian women. The first woman I want to look at is Sarah, a woman whose story should inspire and encourage any woman with an unfulfilled desire to be a mother. So, if you fall into that category, join me at taking a look at what we can learn from Sarah.
Sarah and Abraham were able to enjoy wealth, travel, and the company of extended family, all while following God’s call. Genesis chapter 12 tells us that God told Abraham to leave his country and his father’s household and go to the land God would show him. We are not told that Abraham or Sarah asked any questions of God; they simply packed up their entire life and followed God to Canaan. They took with them all of their possessions, their people, and even Abraham’s nephew, Lot. This journey took them to some exotic locations, even as far as Egypt, but they believed this was part of God’s plan and they obeyed. We are not told how old Sarah was at the time of this journey, but Abraham was already 75, so we can assume she was not far behind. Once they reach the land of Canaan, God tells Abraham that the land will be given to his offspring (Gen. 12: 7). Again, we are not told that Abraham or Sarah question this statement, but instead we are told that Abraham builds an altar to the Lord as an act of submission to God’s plan and faithfulness. When I put myself in Abraham or Sarah’s position, I can only think how preposterous God’s promise must have sounded! “Um, God? Yeah, did it slip your mind that I am 75 years old? It’s a little late for offspring…right?” But we aren’t told that any such question leaves anyone’s mouth. Abraham builds the altar and trusts that God is in control. Clearly, God’s call to Abraham and Sarah was an exciting one, but also one that was still somewhat unclear. They simply obeyed, and in the process were able to see new places, enjoy a somewhat luxurious life, and spend time together and with their nephew. Obeying God’s call was their first priority, and because of this obedience they were able to reap the benefits.
When Sarah takes matters into her own hands, the result is disastrous. If we continue reading the story of Abraham and Sarah, we notice that God continues to mention that offspring are part of the plan, but doesn’t seem to care about the fact that this couple is well past their child-bearing years. Sarah becomes impatient and decides to solve the issue herself. In Genesis 16 Sarah instructs Abraham to sleep with her maidservant, Hagar, in hopes of producing a son that way. Abraham agrees, and Hagar becomes pregnant. We are told that when Hagar realized she was pregnant “she began to despise her mistress” (16:4). This creates chaos in the household, and eventually leads to Sarah mistreating Hagar and, subsequently, Hagar running away. God watches over Hagar and, eventually, her son Ishmael, and demonstrates that He has a plan even for them, but it also becomes evident that Sarah should not have taken the control away from God. If she had trusted God and his plan, she would not have had conflict with both her husband and her servant. Direct connections can be made to our lives today. First, we must leave everything in God’s control. So many times life just does not make sense and we cannot understand what in the world God must have planned, but we must trust that He does have a plan and it is not our place to try to figure it out or manipulate it in any way. Also, for those of us struggling with wanting a child, the conflict between Sarah and Hagar teaches us that we need to check our jealousy. We also need to not abuse or mistreat others in any way, whether it be spoken abuse or simply hateful, jealous thoughts, simply because we feel afraid, forgotten, or insecure with what is happening in our own lives.
As God’s plan gets closer to fruition, He gives Sarah a new name. Over a decade passes, and still no offspring to inherit God’s promised land. However, one day everything changes: God gives Abraham and Sarah new names. God changes Abram to Abraham, meaning “father of many” and Sarai to Sarah, explaining, “I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her” (Gen. 17:16). God had a completely unique and special role reserved for Sarah, so unique and special, in fact, that it required her to take on a completely new name – a new identity. What is God’s role for you and for me? Up to that point in her life, Sarah’s role had not been to be a mother. Only when God deemed it time did this become her role. We should not give ourselves a role that we are not meant to have. God will determine what our role should be, and if it needs to be changed he will determine that as well. It might not be as life-changing as Sarah’s change of name, but it will be just as clear to us.
Abraham and Sarah practice hospitality. In Genesis 18 God sends three very special visitors Abraham and Sarah’s way. They are more than welcoming to these three strangers, with Abraham bringing them water to wash their feet and some food to eat. They are acting as impeccable examples of hospitality. In his book Reaching Out, Henri Nouwen writes, “Our children are our most important guests, who enter into our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while, and then leave to follow their own way. Children are strangers whom we have to get to know.” If we view parenting as an act of hospitality, then welcoming a child into our home is no different than welcoming three strangers. Abraham and Sarah do not have to have a child to practice this, and neither do we. If we feel we are ready to welcome the tiniest infant into our home and our arms, we should feel ready to welcome the poor, or homeless, or hungry. Instead of feeling saddened or embittered by not having a child for whom we can practice hospitality, we should follow Abraham and Sarah’s example and practice hospitality towards everyone we meet, in preparation for perhaps one day having the honor of practicing hospitality for our own children.
God is gracious to Sarah, and everything makes sense in the end. Finally, in Genesis 21:1 Sarah is given her long-awaited son: “Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised.” I think it is extremely important to note the word “gracious.” God’s gift of a son to Abraham and Sarah was an act of grace. It was not something they bartered for, or something they deserved for being good and patient people. It was purely grace, exerted by God’s goodness. Sarah names her son Isaac, meaning “he laughs,” because in Genesis 18:10, the three visitors announce that they will return again in a year and Sarah will be pregnant. Her response? Laughter, of course! As if she could become pregnant in her old age! Yet once Isaac is born, the joke becomes very real, so real that Sarah has the last laugh by naming her son Isaac. What once seemed merely a proposterous idea being thrown around by three strange visitors, now manifests itself in a tiny baby in her arms. For Sarah it must have all made perfect sense, right down to the name for her son. God had a plan, a plan that often seemed ridiculous and nonsensical, but in the end it was the perfect plan all along.
Sarah’s story is one that teaches us that it’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to realize that we don’t have a clue what God is doing. It’s even okay to laugh and show emotion! But at the end of the day we should trust God above all. He does have a plan, and it does make sense. We might have to wait decades for that “Aha! moment” when it all just clicks, but that is okay too. In the meantime we should enjoy the adventure of following God’s call, relax and not take matters into our own hands, take joy in the role God has given us, and practice hospitality in whatever ways we can. God will be always be faithful.
6 Comments
June 22, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Great job!
June 22, 2009 at 10:53 pm
We always tease about being Abraham and Sarah. Kenny was forty when Micah was born and I was thirty. Then, along came three more little miracles. I am going to enjoy this series, as much as your book reviews!
June 24, 2009 at 1:24 am
The thought that God is in control and has things in hand is very comforting. And that faith is frequently tested in this life. There are many opportunities to persevere.
Yet, I don’t like to take the analogy with Sarah and infertility too, too far. (I am not saying that you are taking it too far, just that it can be taken too far.) As someone who’s been through the infertility roller-coaster, I have to say that I am not Sarah and my husband is not Abraham and no angels came to talk to us, etc. For them it was a test of trust and patience, as they had a clear call and promise.
For us, we had to figure out what to do, what medical aids to try, what services to utilize, etc. and sometimes I worried that those measures were taking matters into our own hands and not trusting, not waiting. But that was wrong.
Not- trusting- God is when you do something immoral to get your way, not when you simply make a decision to help yourself, i.e. utilize medicine, agencies. Yes, there could be a miracle baby. How long am I supposed to wait for that? I have no special promise from God for this miracle baby. Sarah did. That was different. I need to go see a Doctor, a social worker. I need a plan. I need to plan. I need to pray and get pro-active.
In the end we went with open adoption. We were able to adopt infants within 3 weeks of going on the waiting list. It worked out very well for all parties, by God’s grace.
Keep up the stimulating blog!
June 24, 2009 at 1:37 am
Brigitte,
Thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts – I really appreciate it! I think you are 110% correct that the analogy of Sarah and infertility can be taken much too far. I hope that is not the impression I am given. I just wanted to communicate to others the personal encouragement I have found from Sarah and Abraham’s story and their unhesitating trust that God would provide. I think there is nothing wrong with trusting God to provide for you as you seek medical treatment, pursue adoption, etc. Obviously those were not options available to Abraham and Sarah so we have no idea how that would have played out in Genesis, so it would be silly to make assumptions!
The main point I know I need to take away from Sarah’s lesson in “taking matters into her own hands” with Hagar is that God has a plan bigger than ours so we should not feel surprised or upset or bitter if our plan does not succeed. God will show us what He has in store when the time is right.
Happy to hear that adoption was the right solution for you and your husband!
June 24, 2009 at 3:50 am
I have to point out that after Isaac was born Sarah and Abraham (the latter reluctantly) sent Hagar and Ishmael into the desert to probably die though they were rescued. Personally I have to feel sorry for Hagar and feel she was mistreated by Abraham (at a minimum he should have seen her and her son established so they wouldn’t starve or dehydrate to death instead he sends her out of the camp into a desert carrying a toddler, a skin of water, and some food).
15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob.
June 26, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Looking forward to the rest of the series! God Bless!