Yesterday Ryan and I had the privilege of attending the wedding of one of Ryan’s friends from college. It was the first wedding ceremony done completely from the Book of Common Prayer that we have attended since our own, so that was really fun for us. This couple chose not only to do the complete wedding ceremony from the BCP, but also to have a full Communion service. When I saw this in the wedding program I was both ecstatic and impressed. Clearly this was not their parents’ wedding, and I wholeheartedly commend them for this.
Both our friend and his new bride grew up in traditions other than that of the Episcopal church. Similar to Ryan and myself, I believe they have found a home in the Episcopal/Anglican church since forming a new life together as couple. But instead of appeasing their parents, friends, and numerous others in attendance who probably were not completely excited about or comfortable with the idea of a BCP marriage ceremony complete with Communion, they did what they wanted to do and what they felt was right.
So many times a wedding turns into this monster of its own where the bride and groom find themselves being pulled into whatever anyone with an opinion thinks they should do for their wedding. It can often result in something that is not at all what the couple would have wanted, but instead something that has been created so that nobody’s feelings are hurt or no one is offended.
On the flip side, when a couple chooses to do what our friends did yesterday, and completely take charge and make their wedding ceremony theirs and theirs alone, people also often get offended. Sometimes you just can’t catch a break. I don’t understand why that is, and often get saddened by what I see at weddings or hear what the bride and groom had to do simply to appease someone, but yesterday was quite different. It was obvious some people were uncomfortable with the couple’s decision to include Communion, and I heard through the grapevine that some family members were not even pleased with the choice to do the BCP wedding ceremony, but who cares? I thought the ceremony was wonderful in and of itself, but more wonderful and more refreshing was this couple’s choice to stay true to themselves and what they wanted. It is their wedding after all!
