At a Good Place

On Tuesday evening I became a confirmed Anglican in the Anglican Mission of the Americas. It was an exciting night, to put it lightly. In some ways, that ceremony felt akin to my wedding day: family there to support Ryan and myself, nervous anticipation, a sense of finality, a pastor and mentor there to guide us. But I realized that in a lot of ways, this is more important than my wedding day, or at least more “big picture.” I cannot really put into words how completely awesome it felt to stand there with other believers, fellow members of the AMiA, and worship our God together. It was overwhelming to know that I was joining with brothers and sisters around the world – specifically Rwanda – whom I have never met but with whom I would now have a kinship. I was teary-eyed throughout much of the service simply because it was the strongest feeling of  unity I have experienced in quite awhile.

I was also teary-eyed because it has been a bit of an interesting journey for me up to this point. When our pastor from Ohio broached the subject of confirmation with Ryan, he excitedly told me about it, definitely wanting us to go through with it. I will honestly admit that I balked. I did not balk because I didn’t want to be confirmed or officially become a part of the AMiA, I balked because I felt like it would be a sham. See, ever since Ryan and I have been married we have been attending an AMiA church. We attended one while we briefly lived in Wilmore, Kentucky, then found a great AMiA congregation in Chillicothe, Ohio when we moved to Columbus. After a few months there, our friend and future pastor, Joe, decided he wanted to start his own AMiA plant in Circleville, Ohio so we joined him, hoping to help in whatever way possible. But as we became more busy in making preparations to move to Kentucky, we began attending church regularly less and less. Our move to Kentucky took us to a very interesting place for churches. If we want a Baptist or Pentecostal church we are definitely in the right area, but anything else is few and far between. We tried out a few churches without much success, and finally decided to just make the church service that our students have to attend at the school our “home.”

I put the word home in quotes because that is definitely not what it felt like, for me at least. Our ministry is such a huge part of our lives Monday through Friday (and often Saturday too), that I found myself desiring to be ministered to on Sunday. Even though I was not actively having to do anything as I sat through the student service, I still found myself in “teacher mode,” watching for behavior problems, etc. instead of being able to simply be at church. Plus it is only a service, and basically only with our students. No adult relationships to be found. Living and working as closely as we do with our co-workers, I have found that I have a strong need to form relationships with others outside of my ministry. The student service left no opportunity for that whatsoever.

So when Ryan suggested we be confirmed in the AMiA, I was left wondering, “What’s the point?” We had no AMiA church, had no AMiA contacts in our general vicinity, and I just had an overall sucky attitude about going to church. I had either not attended, or not attended with a glad heart in over a year. That had me at a really low place. So after much discussion we made a decision that I think is going to be truly life-changing for our family: we would drive farther than we would ideally like, and shell out gas money we would not ideally like to shell out in order to be part of an AMiA congregation in Corbin, Kentucky, about an hour away. We have been attending for several weeks now, and could not be happier! I exclaimed the other day, “I am finally looking forward to going to church!” It always sounds cliche to me, but God really does have a way of showing you where He wants you to be. He will provide the right fit and make everything fall into place. That is truly what I have seen happen in our lives over the past few weeks in regard to our need for a church home.

Participating in the confirmation service on Tuesday made everything make sense for me. It was really an emotional experience to come to the realization, “This is where I am supposed to be. This is where we are supposed to be. This is where our family is supposed to be.” I felt completely surrounded by love and unity, both from my brothers and sisters in the AMiA and elsewhere, and also by my Heavenly Father. I am really thankful to finally be at a good place.