I have to come clean. I have to sort out my feelings. I’ve had a summer affair, and I’m now rapidly being forced to end it. My feelings are bittersweet. I knew this day was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
This summer marked the summer of my Kindle romance. He had been in my life for over a year, but we were never that serious. This summer, though, something changed. Maybe it was the fact that Silas is getting older and doesn’t need as much constant supervision, giving me time to steal away. Maybe it was having the summer off and needing something to occupy my time. Maybe there isn’t a clear-cut explanation other than the fact that I wanted it, and I sought it out.
We had some great days and even better nights. There were days we spent hours together, with me utterly engrossed in what he had to offer. And then there were the nights – oh the nights – where we stayed up late together much longer than I knew was right, simply because of the sheer rapture of being entwined so closely. I became so dependent upon him and his attention that I couldn’t be away from him for very long. Anywhere I went, he went. We were inseparable.
But those are only fond memories, now.
On Monday I start working again. On Monday I also start graduate classes. In a manner of speaking, we are literally going to be forced to see other people. We may occasionally get together over a Fall or Christmas Break here and there, but we both know it won’t be the same. Those hurried, half-hearted passionate bursts will pale in comparison to this special summer.
I know we still have a few days together, but already I find myself ignoring him and his siren calls. I know that he’s waiting for me in the bedroom, but instead I turn on the television or retreat into my husband’s arms instead. It’s the right thing to do, really. We’ve had a good run, we really have, but I need to end things quickly and decisively, with no room for “what ifs” or “one last time.” No, I have to do what my head says is right and responsible, even if my heart tells me otherwise.
But I’ll miss you, Amazon Kindle, I really will. You mean everything to me, and nobody can take away what we’ve found together.