Now that it’s over, it’s safe to say that the summer off wasn’t really ideal for my personality type. It feels good to be back at work.
I spent my summer in an increasing state of discontent. A lot of changes were/are going on at our school, and I just was not sure how to handle them. As the summer days dragged on and on, I began having these little thoughts creep into my head: Am I really where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to do? Am I even good at my job? Isn’t the grass a lot greener in Ohio (or anywhere else)? Maybe I should look for a new job? I kept having to put these thoughts in check, to the best of my ability. I kept having to remind myself that I was spending three months basically in the company of my toddler and my husband. Although I love them dearly, that’s not the life for me. I need to work, and by work I mean outside of the home. And in order to assess whether or not I am doing the job I should be doing, well, I guess I need to be actively doing it.
I kept telling myself wait until the kids come back and then see how you feel.
The kids are back, and I’m ecstatic.
When you’re in a ministry field like I am, ministering to teenagers, it’s somewhat difficult to finding meaning, purpose, and enjoyment without those teenagers. I’ve never been so happy to see those smiling (and some not smiling) faces.
I spent a lot of my summer anxious about my new endeavors. I was excited to teach at the junior level, but I was also quite nervous and unsure. I’d been relating to 13 year-olds for so long that I was not sure I would know what to do with “big kids.” We’re four days in, and I think I’m starting to figure it out. Guess what? They may be 17 and 18 years old, but they’re still kids. Something happens every day to remind me of this, and I think that’s awesome. I need reminding that they are still children, and they and I need to relish this time in their lives. You only get to be a child once, after all. Why make them grow up so soon?
So I’m feeling good. I know there will be hard days – there will be hard days in any job – but right now I’m appreciating the fact that all of the pieces have fallen back into place. My classroom is nothing without those precious bodies in the desks. They are what make me feel like getting up in the morning is the right and exciting thing to do. I feel re-energized and re-focused. It’s a good feeling, really.