And I Said Well That’s the One Thing We’ve Got

I always joke with Ryan that since he went on his diet, we have nothing fun to do together. We used to do fun stuff together which always involved food, like getting Blizzards together, for instance. But then he decided that he needed to neurotically drink coffee, and so that became our thing. We’d make a spontaneous stop at Starbucks because we knew it would make both of us happy and be a little indulgence we could share together. But then a couple of weeks ago he decided he needed to cut back on coffee. I was seriously depressed. I had a very pouty moment where I proclaimed that we had nothing in common and nothing we could ever do together again.

Then I remembered that we still have one thing: Deadliest Catch.

Ryan started watching Deadliest Catch a few years back. I’d heard of it, but I thought it sounded completely boring, plus it’s sponsored by Coors Lite. In a word: trashy. Two years ago, though, I decided to give it a go, and I wound up enjoying it. Last year I wanted very badly to watch the show, but 7:30 – 9:45 P.M. was colicky Silas’ witching hour and so Ryan enjoyed many episodes without me while I tried to soothe the savage beast. Now there is this year. The colic has subsided, the baby is fast asleep by 9 P.M., and so the Deadliest Catch watching and subsequent marital bonding can commence.

Seriously, I look forward to this all week. I think it’s more about spending time with my husband and doing something we enjoy together than it is about the crab, but I do enjoy the actual reality T.V. aspect as well. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “Girl, who are you?” because I never thought I would look forward to a show about crab fishing as much as I do. There’s just something about it.

What has struck me the most this season is just how you can change the environment but the same old workplace problems still persist. It doesn’t matter if you are on the Bering Sea or standing next to the copy machine on any given day in corporate America, you’re always going to wind up with a boss that everybody loves on the good days and loathes on the bad ones, some rookie who talks a big game and then quits after a few days, and personality conflicts out the wazoo. I love it. I daresay I see just as much entertaining drama on a single episode of Deadliest Catch as I do on any episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. But sometimes it’s too much like work and it makes me exasperated and uncomfortable, because at the end of the day it’s just a bunch of guys at work in front of the camera, and who wants to watch the same conflicts they have at work again for fun on a Tuesday night?

Uncomfortable or not, I love it, and now I have to end this post because my show is about to come on!

Stay-at-Home-Mom

School is out for the summer, and for the first time ever neither Ryan nor I are teaching summer school. This has made me extremely giddy. I figured we would just laze about for three months, excluding the time we plan to spend at the beach and in Ohio (where we will also laze about). I thought I would study for the GRE, read some novels, do some cooking…you know, relax.

Then I remembered that no school means no free daycare.

My summer plans have changed.

See, it dawned on me near the end of last week that Silas is used to a highly-structured 7.5 hour day. I can’t just expect him to laze around with me all day. He’s not that kind of kid. So I decided to embrace it, as best I can: I decided to embrace my inner stay-at-home-mom.

That’s assuming I have an inner SAHM. I’m still looking for her. We have now planned a very rigid schedule for Silas to follow. My only personal down time hinges upon him taking at least a two-hour nap…which this child has yet to do. Fun times.

I found myself purchasing art supplies in bulk at the store. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for halfway interesting ideas for a 13-month old. I’ve visited the library for interesting new books for the boy. I’ve also been watching the clock slowly tick and resisting the urge to soothe the cranky baby with T.V.

How do you SAHMs do it? I think I’m fundamentally too selfish to stay home with a small child all day. Seriously. I think that when I just see Silas for a few hours on weekdays and then on the weekends, it’s easy to enjoy down time and just have fun (and become spoiled). When I am fully in charge of his waking, sleeping, eating, playing, and learning, it’s heavy stuff. I have to really put myself on the back burner in a new way and make most of my waking hours about him. Yeah, I was home with him all day last summer, but he was teeny-tiny and not needing as much constant entertainment and supervision as he does now that he is a toddler. This is all new to me. I’m still deciding if I like it.

Please, please don’t leave me comments saying, “You should just be grateful for the time you have with him.” I know that, I do, but my personality is just not the type that I enjoy following around a toddler, making sure he doesn’t fall, and pulling crayons out of his mouth because he’d rather eat them than try to color. It’s a frustrating age, and staying home with him is making my summer take on a new flavor. I didn’t say it was a bad flavor, just a new one.

In Pursuit of Life-Long Learning

I promise this isn’t going to become a GRE blog…well, I’ll try to promise that anyway. I have officially started the GRE prep, and while I am feeling less overall like an idiot (except where math is concerned, but that’s nothing new), I am feeling challenged to become a more educated person – a life-long learner, if you will. I distinctly remember a time around my junior year when I actively began pursuing knowledge and getting genuinely excited about learning new things. School became more than just some banal (GRE word!!!!) endeavor and instead became something which genuinely excited me. This is part of the reason why I am so excited about my new challenge of shaping young 11th-grade minds. This continued on through college, but I will confess that by the time I was finished with college, I was ready for a break. I can’t say I’m overly excited about grad school – it just feels like something I have to/need to do – but getting back into a specialized groove of learning is somewhat exciting. Not the paper writing so much, but you know.

Anyway, in my GRE prep for the Verbal Reasoning section, I discovered that the good folks at Kaplan are very big on constantly acquiring new vocabulary. They suggest habitually reading The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal so that you are very familiar with higher-level reading. They also suggest keeping a running log of words you come across which are unfamiliar to you. They suggest looking up these words, writing them in a sentence so that you know how to use them in context, and then compiling a running list of synonyms.

I like these ideas, I really do. I just am fundamentally lazy. These days I am very much feeling like there are only so many hours in the day and only so many things I can do in those hours. I am trying to figure out how I can make the time to read The New York Times…well, wait, I’m trying to first figure out how to afford a subscription to The New York Times. I can picture it now: it’s Saturday morning and I am sitting very comfy on the couch in some silk pajamas and a warm robe, reading The New York Times while sipping a nice cup of coffee. I come across a new word, like aggrandize, for example (which I just learned yesterday), and I write it in my running vocabulary journal. I then quickly develop it into a very adept and coherent sentence and make connections between it and other words I’ve already jotted into said journal.

And then Silas throws a block at my head, waking me out of this pretentious academic fantasy. Yeah, it’s never going to happen. I mean, I may or may not spend useless hours on the couch watching the likes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and So You Think You Can Dance, but some of that is necessary to keep my sanity, right? It’s really hard at the end of the day to get motivated to do some light academic reading and work on word families.

Now I sound like some of my students. I am feeling pangs of guilt, like why should I expect academic excellence out of them if I can’t even hold myself to that standard? I’ll have to make my peace with that soon. I want to be a life-long learner. I want to lay on my deathbed feeling like I soaked up all the knowledge I had available. I want to feel confident as an Advanced Placement English teacher. I want to be a successful graduate student. I really want to do well on the GRE. But I also want to watch 16 and Pregnant. What’s a girl to do?

Greek Mythology Fun

My last year teaching 8th grade has come and gone. I might get all emotional about that in another post, but right now I am not feeling very emotional about it. Sometimes I think we get rewarded for persevering, and that’s definitely how I feel this year. This year brought a very challenging group of students through my door, and I had to restructure and adapt my lesson plans accordingly.

Typically during the 4th Quarter I focus on drama with A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Diary of Anne Frank. Anne is nice and all, but sometimes she’s just a little too nice with her whole “in spite of everything I still believe people are really good at heart” business and, frankly, I was sick of her. Also, I was just not sure this particular group of students would get into the Holocaust minus the gruesome parts, so I said goodbye Anne Franke, hello Greek Mythology.

To say the kids were excited would be an understatement. I think that the boys in particular were excited because the God of War video game made all of this relevant for them (whatever it takes, I guess). We spent three weeks on the unit. For the first week we did the creation story, the second week we focused on love myths, and the third week was spent on the story of Hercules. This group of students was highly competitive and needed complex projects to keep them busy, so I actually got to do several fun things! Since I’m not on Facebook anymore, I’m going to inundate you here.

At the beginning of the unit they each had to do a presentation to the class about a Greek god/goddess. I got the idea from here. They all did a great job, but the best part was the costumes some of them came up with for bonus points.

I have always wanted to do a story quilt but have never had a good opportunity. I decided that the Twelve Labors of Hercules were the perfect example. Each student picked a Labor to draw, and then I picked the best twelve to feature on the quilt. I’m really pleased with how it turned out, and it was fun seeing the kids compete with one another to see who would make it on the quilt!

Finally, for their Final Assessment Project, I had my students create a Mythological Barbie. I took this idea from here. The kids grumbled at first, the boys in particular, but in the end they turned in some fabulous projects! I displayed all of the A’s and took pictures of the ones I liked in particular.

Mere Musings on the New Car

We decided months ago that our now larger family needed a larger vehicle. We looked, and looked, and looked (and by “we” I mean my husband), but could not find anything. We’re heading to the beach at the end of this month, and I finally gave Ryan an ultimatum: find us a new vehicle, or I was filing for divorce. OK, I kid (and sorry if you are offended by the idea of joking about divorce), but I really was not happy about the idea of driving 8 hours one-way in our tiny Corolla. Fortunately, a few weeks ago Ryan found a vehicle online which looked promising. It was local, offered more space, a newer vehicle than we were used to (2009), and was a ridiculously good deal because it was hail-damaged. So we went to check it out…and then we bought it.

It’s a Chevy HHR, and it sort of looks like this:

When you get a new car, it is supposed to be an exciting time, so people keep asking me, “How do you like your new car?” I always have to pause and check myself, because my initial reaction is always to say, “It’s ugly.” See, this car has been an exercise in contentment (and finances). I am sure I had seen these cars out on the road prior to owning one, but I honestly never noticed them. Now I do, though. On the drive home from purchasing the car, I kept seeing these cars approach in the opposite lane and my first thought was, “Ew, what an ugly car,” followed quickly by, “Oh, oops, that’s the car I now own.” I know some of you are probably thinking we are nuts for purchasing a car that we are not totally crazy about, but the reality is it’s really hard to reconcile not purchasing a car simply because the exterior is ugly when it meets all of your personal requirements. So that is what we did. Actually, the car is really nice inside and is tons of fun to drive, and since I have never owned a new car but instead have always driven used cars which were already over a decade old when I received them, this car is kind of a treat. I’m learning to be content and thankful that we can even get a new car, and that we will have a comfy ride to the beach.

But here’s the other thing. Like I said, the car is hail damaged. It’s nothing major, but it is noticeable up close. I am completely befuddled by how many people have come up to us and said something like, “I’m so sorry about your car.” We usually follow this with a puzzled look and a, “Why?” “Because of the hail damage.” “Oh, well, we bought it that way, so it’s no loss to us.” This is typically followed by avery puzzled look. Why in the world would we buy not only a car whose exterior we are not crazy about, but also one which has hail damage? Well, because the price was right and it fits the needs of our family. If that makes us crazy, so be it.

It’s just buying a car, but I can’t help but think of Jesus’ command to be in the world but not of the world. It’s something I struggle with, and this car is no exception. Would I have preferred a bright and shiny new minivan? Um, yeah, but that’s not what our family could afford. The world has lots of shiny things which draw us in, and I am not above that allure by any means, but this is one situation where we bit the bullet and did what was right, no matter what kind of crazy cock-eyed looks we get from those around us. I think it’s good. And hey, the car is growing on me.

False Assumptions

I’ve made a startling revelation. I’ve been walking around this earth for at least, oh, 17 years under a false assumption that I am an intelligent person. Little did I know that I was wrong, and that a rude awakening was headed my way.

I’ve been prepping for the GRE. A more accurate statement would be: I’ve been looking over sample questions and becoming despondent and bemoaning the fact that we have no ice cream in the freezer to ease my pain.

See, it really bothers me that I don’t have a Master’s Degree. When I accepted my new position for next year, I decided it was time to get on that already, and so I have applied for admission into  a graduate program to get my Master’s in English. I was super excited and super motivated and totally not sweating this GRE thing…and then I started looking over sample questions.

This thing is going to kill me, ya’ll. I kept thinking, “How hard can it be?” Well, I guess the answer is, “Pretty darn hard.”

I know that what I need to do is take this frustration and these feelings of defeat and channel all that into kicking the GRE’s little boo-tay, but every time I crack open a study resource, I just freak out.

I asked Ryan how this can be so difficult because I know lots of people who take it and do fine. He said, “Because you’re supposed to take it straight out of college, not five years later.” Thanks for the support, honey. Now I feel not only idiotic, but also old.

Au Naturale

Last weekend I had a phone conversation with my mother which went something like this:

Me: Hi, do you have any cornstarch?

Mom: I think, let me check. Long pause. OK I’m back. Yes, I have some, but it’s not a lot. How much do you need?

Me: I don’t remember. Let me check the recipe….I need 1/4 cup.

Mom: Well, there may be 1/4 cup in there, but just barely. It may be just enough. What are you making?

Me: Deodorant

And then my mom flipped out. See, a couple of weeks ago my husband asked if we had any baking soda. When I told him yes and asked why he needed it, he explained that he was going to stop wearing deodorant and just apply baking soda every morning instead. He said he had finally decided that putting aluminum on his body was just not a good idea. It’s something he and I have talked about on and off for awhile now, but I was always too lazy and cheap to take the plunge. I read several blogs which kind of overdo it on all the healthy, natural living. I will graciously not directly call them out right now, but they are on my blogroll (see what I did there). One in particular I have to read somewhat sparingly because it makes me feel like I should just give up everything I own because it is all poisoning me in some way. That rant aside, these blogs always talk about getting away from traditional deodorant and making your own aluminum-free version. I thought it was poppycock for a long time, but the more I thought about it, as a woman what good could really come from putting aluminum that close to your breast? It started to freak me out. I don’t mean for this to sound as guilt-trippy as it does, but watching my dad die of cancer has made me think twice about some lifestyle choices which could pretty easily be changed.

So I did it.

I used this recipe from Passionate Homemaking (see what I did there?) which was super easy. She says in her post that it should be the same consistency as normal stick deodorant, but mine is actually softer. I just keep it in a small tupperware container on my dresser so I have it when I get ready in the morning. The coconut oil really does make it smell good, so it’s similar to a lotion. I don’t think I stink (if you’ve smelled me, please comment and let me know), so it must be working.

My next endeavor is to go No ‘Poo (see what I did there?) as soon as school is out and nobody has to see me during the greasy transition period. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but thought it was too hippy/dippy/trippy for me. Then I learned that Cassie does it and there was no turning back.

 

I’m Shouting from the Mountaintops

And lo I say unto you…I’VE FOUND IT!!!!!

First, let’s back up. If you’re an avid reader of my blog, you’ve probably  noticed a serious lack of book reviews since April 15, 2011. What can I say? The rumors are true: kids really do drastically change your life. Not only do I have considerably less time to read for pleasure than I used to, I really do not have the time or desire to write book reviews on that rare occasion that I do finish a book. But as Silas is getting older, I’m finding myself with a bit more time to read, as well as an increased desire.

I don’t like The Hunger Games, books or movies. I won’t beat a dead horse because I’ve posted about this twice already. Suffice it to say: ingenious idea poorly executed. I mentioned this to my friend Chelsea a couple of months ago and she said, “Have you read Divergent? It’s better, and I think you’d like it.” I filed that bit of information away for the day when I actually found both the book and the time to read it.

That day came a few weeks ago, and I devoured that sucker with much excitement. I feel like shouting from the mountaintops, “I’VE FOUND IT!!!!” because, basically, I have. Divergent is everything the Young Adult Dystopian genre should  be and more: interesting and developed characters, fairly brilliant concept (still think Hunger Games takes the cake with the basic concept, though), at times thought-provoking, just the right balance of violence, a little mystery, and even some young lovin’. I like it. A lot.

And hey, the sequel just came out May 1! It’s like it’s meant to be. Ryan told me that it’s dumb to keep comparing every Young Adult Dystopian novel to Hunger Games, but I told him it’s not my fault. The entire world is touting Hunger Games as the end-all-be-all of the genre, and I just don’t think that’s fair. Veronica Roth has something good going here. Read it!

Hi, My Name is Noel and…

I’m such an addict. This morning around 6:45-ish our power went out. I lay in bed thinking about how it was probably a serial killer in our crawlspace who cut it off so that we would be preoccupied with that while he murdered us all with an ax. Then somewhere in there I realized that this meant no coffee, and then I was really scared. We decided to leave for church early and stop at Starbucks en route, but that still put me about three hours behind in my usual coffee consumption. In those three hours, I basically found it extremely difficult to function, spent a large portion of time staring into space like a zombie and trying to play with Silas while moving as little of my body as possible, in addition to getting into a huge blowup with Ryan over the sentence, “I didn’t know we were ready to leave.” Clearly, I need my morning fix.

In the past 48 hours, I have been made startlingly aware that it’s best if educators everywhere just don’t have a Facebook account. And so, after MUCH weeping and gnashing of teeth, I hit the “Deactivate Account” button yesterday evening. Ryan deactivated his account about a month ago, and he sagely told me, “You’re going to feel a lot of emotions over the next week, but by the end of the week you won’t regret it.” I think he’s right. We’re only going on 24 hours and I. Am. Freaking. Out….colossally. I keep sitting down at my computer and absentmindedly typing in facebook.com when I mean to type something completely different. When we went to my mom’s for dinner tonight she had her Facebook pulled up and I kept finding myself walking closely by the monitor so that I could glance at her news feed. Knowing that I still have time to change my mind and reactivate is really tugging at the old heartstrings, but deep down I know I’ve made the right decision…kind of like someone who begrudgingly said they would go to rehab to save their family. Yeah, exactly like that, in fact.

I’m addicted and I know it.

Changes Ahead

So what’s new with you? I’ve got a new job, and I’m really excited and nervous about it! Next year, I will be teaching 11th grade English. This is an American Literature course, and then I will also be responsible for an Advanced Placement course in English Language and Composition. This translates to MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a responsible person now. I am responsible for the education of 37 young minds at the moment, and I realize that every day, but the reality is I have a a lot of freedom in 8th grade Language Arts at my small, private school. There are no set parameters of “This is What You Must Teach,” so I enjoy a lot of flexibility and freedom and, to a large extent, am able to do whatever I want. It’s really nice, and I am really spoiled. Next year is going to change things.

Next year, there is material I must teach, at least within the larger parameter of American Literature. And that’s just for the regular class. The Advanced Placement class is basically giving me conniptions… in a good way (I think). It’s a lot to be responsible for.

This is the class I’ve always wanted, and the class I have been working toward. I just hope I can measure up and be the best teacher that I can be and the teacher that these students need me to be. This all feels very serious.

On a related note, any advice for me as I work on preparing reading lists and syllabi? Particularly if you took AP English classes in high school?  I did, and there were some things I remember as good and other things I’d like to improve upon. As I look over AP reading lists, I am surprised by some of the books I see on there and some that are missing. So, any tips or advice would gladly be welcomed from any of you literary types.

It’s an exciting time!